You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
