Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
