Pappa wants mamma naked
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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