no you cant smoke seaweed
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
