No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
