I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
