I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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