Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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