happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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