lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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