wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
