Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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