sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm both gender and math confused
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
