OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
