every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
