Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
