so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
