you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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