My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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