So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
