Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
