she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Randomize
