my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We got so high we made milksteak
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
