Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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