Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
