did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
