I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
