So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
