thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
