i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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