I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
