trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
