oh god the rape fog is back!
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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