you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
