your thong is hanging out like whoa
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
All the doctor said was why
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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