the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize