two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He kissed a someone with a penis
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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