Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
