Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
