no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
