how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
