The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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