I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize