I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
