To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
