This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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