the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
thus making me awesome and them whores
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
