ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
