I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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