At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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