Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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