saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
