I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
