Screwed.edu
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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