I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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