Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
