it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
