idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
