Christians are straight up FREAKS
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
